I started actively trying to lose weight in February of this year and I am pleased to announce I finally hit my 10% weight loss goal. I am now 20 pounds lighter than I was 4 months ago.
Losing an average of 1 pound a week was definitely frustrating. In my mind I was thinking I was failing. In reality consistently losing weight, no matter how slow, is pretty awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I need to keep telling myself that because I get down on myself too much. I also found a pair of pants that I can wear now that I couldn’t 4 months ago… possibly a year ago.
Yes, I still look at myself and think I’m fat. I’m still depressed about how I look even after the 20 pounds. It’s an every day and what feels like an every minute struggle. I think about my weight constantly throughout the day. It’s exhausting to feel that bad about yourself. My friend gave me some advice last week. She told me I need to find my journey. Granted she’s religious so she was comparing it to finding a journey with God. But it’s not bad advice, even for us non-religious folks. I need to find my journey in life and focus on that instead of spending all my brain cells focusing on my fatness.
Obviously a great idea in theory except I’m finding it hard to find it. So for right now I’m going to focus on going through my closet to find some more pants.